Photo: canva.com/Ketut Subiyanto
Throughout the Western world, the growth of women’s and children’s rights has changed much of societal and cultural expectations for both groups. However, some areas still face challenges. A common expectation that largely remains unchanged concerns household duties and the care of children. Today, many women work outside the home. However, upon arriving home from work, most household duties (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and child-raising falls upon the woman. In general, a man can arrive home from a full day’s work and rest. Meanwhile, the woman arrives from a full day’s work to more work. My mother was an example.
She married at the age of 18, straight from high school. My father was a career Air Force officer and often was away. When he retired and opened his own private business, my mother decided to pursue a nursing degree. I am the youngest of six, and from early childhood. I remember seeing her poring over the medical books piled on her bed. Yet, she was constantly interrupted by the needs of her children. Once I had a terrible earache and entered the bedroom crying. My mother was deep in her studies but immediately dropped everything to take care of my needs. Her studies at that moment were secondary. It took me many years to appreciate the sacrifices of her small acts of kindness.
In my first year at the Columban Seminary, I had the challenging workload of a master’s degree in theology. Like my mother, I would have books piled on my bed as I read and took notes. One evening, a priest in the house held a mission reflection group, and one of the members of the group was a young mother who brought her daughter (about 10 years of age) because a babysitter could not be found. They placed the daughter in a room with various games to entertain herself. On kitchen duty that night, I hastily cleaned up while mentally preoccupied with a test for the next day. When I finished, relieved at last that I could go to my room, I was startled to find the young girl standing by the kitchen door. Immediately, I asked her if she needed something to drink, snack, etc., to all of which she said no. Therefore, I asked how I could help her. She said, “I’m bored. Can you play with me?” Immediately, my mind screamed NO! I had too much to prepare and no time for this! However, seeing the look on her face, I said I could for a short time. Initially, I was a little put out but proceeded to play some board games with her. In time, I forgot my studies and enjoyed the relaxation of play and laughter. Eventually, her mother showed up, and they left. Tired, I went to bed with no worries about my studies. As you guess, it all turned out well.
Witnessing my mother’s selfless sacrifice to care for her children despite a busy workload, and a child’s simple approach to enjoying life at every moment, I realised that the more important things in life are these small acts of kindness. After all, wasn’t that the purpose of my studies? Women and children have been the greatest teachers in my life.
Columban Fr Chris Saenz is the Regional Director in the United States.
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Women and children and small acts of kindness
