A mother’s anguish

St Bernadette’s Children’s Centre provides individual therapy for mothers and children. - Photo: St Bernadette’s Children’s Centre, Lima, Peru.

From Lima, Peru, Fr Tony Coney shares a mother's story of her abused daughter's suffering

The nightmare started when I found my 10-year-old daughter Diana bleeding from her wounds after being sexually abused. I rushed her to the hospital, thinking that she would be safe there and would be treated like any other patient. But after one night, she was taken away in a car without my being told her destination. I ran after the car, shouting to give me back my daughter, but off they drove. I went back into the hospital to find out where they had taken Diana and learnt that she had been transferred to the government home of INABIF (Programa integral Nacional para el Bienestar Familiar). I took a taxi to their offices and asked for my daughter, but my request was ignored.

Later that day, while she was being taken in another car, into which I had managed to clamber, the nurse accompanying Diana received a phone call telling her to put me out of the car. So, the car stopped, and I was forced out, screaming and shouting. Once again, I returned to INABIF and demanded to know where they had taken Diana, but nobody would tell me. Eventually, I heard someone say by telephone that she had been taken to Pachacamac. This is an area in the south of Lima, the size of a large town. Off I went in search of Diana. I looked for three full days before coming across a high wall behind which I heard children playing. I scaled the wall and asked a young girl if she knew my daughter and described her to the young girl. She said, “Yes, she is here”, and opened the door to let me in. But before I could enter, another person came along and refused me entry. I complained that my daughter was in there and I wanted to see her, pleading with the woman as a mother. She said my daughter was there, but I would need permission to see her. I asked where I would get this permission, and she replied, “INABIF”.

Off once again to INABIF, and after two days of fighting with the personnel, I eventually received the document that would let me see my daughter. When I arrived back at Pachacamac, they accepted the Sundays and to return then. After another three or four days of waiting, I did finally see Diana and had visits every Sunday. I used to go early to try to get in before the specified hour or offered to do some voluntary work to be close to Diana. Thus passed a year of visits. Diana was always complaining about the treatment she received from those in charge. She said she was beaten and abused and lived in very unhygienic conditions. But what could I do? There was no way I was allowed to take her out and bring her home.

Then one day, Diana was accused of breaking something in the kitchen, and her visits were suspended. When I was eventually allowed back in, I discovered she was no longer there. She had been transferred someplace else. This took me back to INABIF, where I learnt that she had been taken to a Home in San Martin de Porres, another huge area in the north of Lima, and so my search started again. Eventually, somebody pointed me in the direction of St Bernadette’s Children’s Centre situated on a hillside. At my wits’ end, I went up the hill to enquire. From there, I was sent to the Children’s Home a few minutes’ walk away. There I knocked on the door, nearly in hysterics at this stage, and was greeted by Abel, one of the resident psychologists. He tried to calm me down as I told him something of my story. I asked him whether Diana was there. He replied that she was and would go and get her, and to my relief, there she was running down the stairs and into my arms. I had imagined all sorts of horrors happening to her, but now I was with her again. I asked what was going to happen - was something bad going to come of this? But Abel explained the centre’s processes to me, and this gave me hope.

Having talked with Abel and Violeta , the psychologist in charge, who explained that they also were tied to INABIF orders, I could see that it was in the best interests of Diana and me that she stayed there in order to receive the attention she needed to overcome her experiences of being abused - but the difference now was, I was part of the process and could see her frequently.

The Children’s Home became my second family over the following year. They did so much for Diana and me that I will always be grateful to them. I will do anything I can to help them, as I owe them so much.

I have grown as a human being through the therapy I received and now am more able to give my daughter what she needs. So, I went from complete desperation, my heart breaking and not wanting to live, to feeling new hope, happiness, and joy. I am so grateful. Thanks to the Home, we can live again as a family.

Columban Fr Tony Coney lives and works in Peru.