Returning back, not turning back

Jerry [second from left] and friends on a trip in Pakistan. Photo: Columban Elbert Balbastro

I received the confirmation of the approval of my missionary visa for Pakistan in early March. Although my siblings already knew, I haven't been able to talk to my dad about it. A part of me still wanted to hold onto the present, but the deeper truth was that I was afraid of going back. Yet another part of me was elated.

It was in 2017 that I first set foot in Pakistan as a seminarian, and in spite of all the setbacks and surprises that I experienced in this land, I always feel the pull to be back. I always make sure to keep it in my thoughts and prayers and share it with close friends, family members, and my wider community. I am aware of what the future may hold, which has led me to trust in God's divine plan. My First Mission Assignment deepened my understanding of Jesus’ call to mission in relation to what the Columban missionaries are doing in Pakistan, what I am studying in books, what the whole seminary formation is about and what my continuing vocation journey is up to.

It is good to be back after four years now as an ordained Columban. To be reconnected with the PMU members and be reoriented to the people and language as well as the cultural, religious, political and economic landscapes of the country, all of these are both refreshing and overwhelming in every sense of the word. Worsening poverty brought about by a very high inflation rate, peace and order, security and political instability are still the four main concerns that continue to wreck the lives of the people on the fringes of society.

Jerry with his family. Photo: Columban Jerry Lohera

I have had many conversations with my dad, and I am always amazed by how deeply he understands the life of a missionary. He doesn't say much, but he always gets to the point, which helps me stay focused on moving forward. Knowing that my dad and siblings are one with me in prayers, brings out confidence in me for every possible event that awaits me in the coming days and years in my missionary journey. With the support and prayers of the Columbans and with the people I met and encountered at different times and places, I am in good shape to seize the day. In one way or another, it helped dissipate the reasonable and unfounded fears that moved me to abandon everything in God’s hands and be truly happy to have this rare opportunity to journey, especially with Christians in this Islamic and beautiful country.

For sure, both present and past missionaries often asked the magic question: Why Pakistan? There might have been tons of articles that elaborate their reasons, yet, for me, if there are two words that capture it all, it is this whole idea of God’s synkatabasis (God lowering himself to speak to humans like a parent to a child) and kenosis (Transcending or detaching oneself from the world or passions).

Columban Jerry Lohera is from the Philippines and was recently assigned to Pakistan Mission Unit.

Related links

• Read more from the current Columban eBulletin.