Letter from a friend
03.03.2010
Today is the seventh anniversary of the passing of my father. I see the watch my father wore on my dresser, where it has sat mostly untouched for years and decide today is a good day to wear it. My mother meets my family at a local diner for breakfast, a quick visit to the store for flowers and a short visit to my father’s grave site.
Thanks in a large part to my sister and her husband we partake in the Jewish tradition of leaving a pebble or stone on top of a tombstone which signifies that someone has honoured the deceased person’s memory with a visit to the grave. We can only guess as to the origins of this tradition as we are not Jewish; it seems there is no clear cut and dried explanation as to its origins.
From what I have been able to research, this tradition may stem from the story that each of Jacob’s sons took a stone and put it on Rachel’s grave to make up Rachel’s tomb.
It is a simple example for me of how a stone over time leaves an impression in the earth on which it sits, as does the life of a loved one. Their life, love, lessons learned and presence.
The stone symbolises not only the impression of the stone but the void it creates once it is removed from the earth. I place a stone on my father’s grave and it reminds me of the void my father’s passing has created and the impression his life continues to make in my life.
Soon after our visit, when returning home, we were listening to the radio, enjoying popular hits from the 80’s. Suddenly a forgotten ballad by Luth Vandross breaks across the airwaves, “Dance with my father.”
As I listened to the tale of yearning for a lost loved one, the memories of my father and our last goodbye rush over me and tears come to my eyes as if he had only passed yesterday. I know my father continues to watch over me and all our family and he lets his presence be known how and when he can. Today was one of those days and it was a good day.
I hope this finds you well and helps you to realise that you are loved and that you have made, and continue to make an impression.
Regards
Dan.
This letter was written to Columban Fr Bernard McDermott.
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